Last night on Late Night with Stephen Colbert we were reassured by First Lady Melania Trump, the Late Show’s version of her played flawlessly by Laura Benanti that is, that she is thrilled to have moved into the White House with her president husband.
Colbert’s Melania assured us that she was miserably lonely in New York “doing whatever I wanted whenever I wanted” she claimed, “I called it my prison of freedom.”
For her move to the White House the “First Lady” didn’t bring much, just her toothbrush, a folding ladder so she can escape and a photo of that famous moment when she swatted her husband’s hand. She told Colbert about the incident “Fake news, Stephen! His hands are so small, I thought it was mosquito.”
She also explained that unless her husband is impeached “We will be together in the White House for 1,315 days, 11 hours, 55 minutes and 20 seconds.” Followed by this gem of an explanation:
“Here’s the thing: America took a vow, and Donald Trump is our president, for better or worse, for richer and even richer, in sickness and in no healthcare, and we must honor that no matter how often America fantasizes about being with Justin Trudeau.”
During her interview with Colbert, the fake “Melania” dropped countless not so subtle hints about how unhappy she is about her move. She is clearly miserable, without coming out and saying it.
Real First Lady Melania and first son Baron did indeed move into the White House last week. Of course, the real First Lady has expressed excitement with the move, as opposed to her late night counterpart.
— Melania Trump (@FLOTUS) June 12, 2017
The Pretend First Lady closes with words of encouragement and compassion to the country. “And you’ll find, in your greatest moments of doubt, you can always drink” Cheers to that, fake Melania!